Rachel's Yard| A New Continuation
This is a short story about me, up until this point.
Growing up as the only child (and seen as a boy) in a traditional Chinese family (in China), it has its perks and disadvantages.
Life goes on for many years: (Can you guess which one is me?)
With a dad who has a MBA degree, and a mom who was basically a teacher her entire life, my parents decided that it would be a good idea for me to study aboard, specifically, the United States. Of course, my parents were very emotional when we waved our hands at HKG, when I was 14 years old.
When I arrived in the States, I was greeted with my dad's best friends. While all other international students were living with their assigned host famililes, I was basically living with an extension of my family. Sandy, she treated me like her own son, even more so than her own kids, for reasons that I did not understand.
Well, when you were young, the hormone rush was real. My puberty came early, and I had my first "girlfriend" when I was like, 12. I still felt guilty that I did so many unspeakably horrible things to her. Likewise, I had a second "girlfriend" while I was in high school, 16, in the States. I, again, did many unspeakbly horrible things to her as well. I did not know why I was such abusive towards people that I care about.
(Graduated from high school, PC my dad)
High school went by without much hurdles, and UCSC was the only school that accepted me (and SJSU, and UCD), and I started my life in a college dorm, 18.
I was very ego-centric, authoritarian, basically like my dad. It wasn't until I was 21, I had realized how fucked up I was as a human being. For that, I want to say special thanks to Alex, Tiffany, and Taiki. They were there when I was throwing my tantrum; they were there where no one else was there for me (not even my parents, seriously); they were there while I was at my lowest point.
Ever since I was young, there was this part of me thats always feels different. I would dress up from my mom's wardrope in secret sometimes, and felt bad about it because I was taught that this is wrong. On the other hand, the more I saw my dad, the more I got scared. I remembered vividly of how my dad cheated on my mom, and when my mom confronted him, he hit my mom with my toy. I remembered vividly of how my dad will yell at my mom for the slightest error out of nothing. I would secretly feel bad for my mom. As I grew older and my puberty hit me like a train, I thought that I was just another regular guy who is "like father like son". But, that got me scared again. It must have been a mistake. I'm not like my dad, I don't want to become my dad.
To me, this is a blessing that I was at a liberal college, and learned about feminism and sexuality. It was Christmas in 2015, that I started to explore myself:
The reaction from my friends was, "wow." The reaction from my parents was, "what the fuck?"
The idea of "transgenderism" was still unknown to me, however, I found myself more at ease with feminine living attiude and inner self. I started to dress more feminine, I started to at least try to be more compassionated, I started to align myself with what I thought I should become. For the entire 2016, I was exploring myself, and trying to figure out myself. Some parts of me suddenly click, as if I have found my soul. Other parts of me with an internalized transphobia screams to me that I'm a freak. During that time of internal struggle, I found myself as Rachel, the lost child.
It was after my 22nd birthday, and a random morning sometime in December, I woke up from a dream that I could not recall. However, it was like a calling to me that I should call my doctor, about starting HRT. I've been researching many topics about myself, from the liberal side, from the conservative side, about "is transgenderism a mental illness", everything about transgender. It was to my conclusion that, no, I've been doubting myself my entire life, and I need to take back control of my own life.
I started HRT under very a detailed informed consent, and two (separate) letters from therapists. Immediately (exaggeration), I found myself at ease at myself. I had found the lost self for 22 years. It never occurred to me that HRT was the magical bullet that pierce through the fog, and saved me from doubts. I had found my lost emotions again. Hormones are the messengers of the Gospel, so to speak. I'm hopeful that I'm being myself.
(Me and Alex)
Update 1: E3-12xx v4 has a lead time of 4 weeks from Asia via ACME, no source via Superbiiz
So I've been looking at Paperspace.io and Sixa.io for virtual desktop solutions, and it does look very appealing. However, is it possible to run it in a home-lab environment?
Currently, I have a XenServer running on my E5-1650v3 node (256GB) and Apache Guacamole for vdi. I do want to enable some sort of GPU capabilities (like for my Jetson TX2 training, but I will use Sixa.io for now; my workstation has a very shitty support for Linux). Looking at XenServer's HCL, and Intel seems to be a promising solution...
However, Intel is being a stupid asshole. E3-15xx v5 are available only in BGA. (WTF?) and E3-12xx v4 are not available anywhere except very special order. I was able to find v5 but only in Asia (none available in North America). What the fuck?
But, the Skull Canyon NUC does have a Iris Pro processor and unofficially supported by XenServer...
Here's the pricing as of the time of the writing:
On Tuesday half of the Internet broke because S3 was fucked. SlugSurvival happened to have a bug that needed a hotfix. However, since Docker Hub uses S3 as the backend, I could not push my images!
Thus, I have to setup my own in my racks of servers.
First, setup the authentication service. Refers to mkuchin/docker-registry-web. You should have a public key and private key ready.
kubectl create a secret for the public key part.
Then, spin up the registry:
This also assumes that you have a Redis running somewhere in the same namespace.
Third, Profit (of course setup services and ingress as well).
As of the time of this writing,
registry:2 corrupts large layers (see my issue) when using 3rd-party S3. You need to use